the daily molly

bunch of scrambled random thought about random life

Yagitudeh

Terakhir nulis di sini awal tahun, dengan penuh semangat dan kertas penuh ‘resolusi’ awal tahun serta beragam wishlist penuh pengharapan yang baru selesai ditulis di malam pergantian tahun. dan gak nyangka sekarang udah di penghujung tahun, dan yabegitulah.. saya gak akan cerita berapa banyak wishlist yang tercapai dan belum kesampaian di tahun ini, yang jelas sore ini bukan itu yang akan saya tulis disini.

satu-satunya keingingan yang selalu saya ingin lakukan di setiap tahun adalah bisa nulis. iya serius, saya pengen bisa nulis, tapi gak pernah bisa rampung. ada sih memang yang rampung, tapi selalu disimpen di folder draft laptop. aneh kalau saya baca ulang dari awal hingga akhir, berasagak enak dibaca aja rasanya tulisan saya haha. Berhubung ini penghujung tahun, dan saya lagi-lagi menuliskan ‘nulis di blog’ di resolusi 2016′ saya, ya maka mau tak mau tulisan ini akan menjadi saksi bahwa kedepan saya akan mulai berani nulis. dan entah bagaimanapun hasilnya nanti saya akan tetep posting tulisan saya. ya begitulah, terkadang yang bikin kita lama untuk menyelesaikan suatu pekerjaan adalah rasa ‘ketidak puasan’ yang terlalu. itu kata temen saya sih, katanya boleh aja sih gak puas, itu tandanya kita memperhatikan detail dan perfection di pekerjaan kita, tetapi kita musti ingat kalau sebaik-baiknya pekerjaan adalah pekerjaan yang selesai. iya, selesai. dan kalau mengutip kata Ernest Hemingway, bahwa “the first draft of anything is shit” . Ya begitulah, this is gonna be my shit for sure, dan saya rasa saya tidak masalah, toh namanya juga belajar nulis.

Yagitudeh, kita lihat saja deh ham, bakal ada berapa postingan di 2016.

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2015

Give thanks to 2014, give thanks for a lot of things happened through a year. All laughter and tears, loss and found, achievement and experience, good and the bad. I’ve learned alot this year, I learned that things don’t always turn out the way you planned, but I do believe that there is always lesson learned in every moment happened. And I’ve learned that there are things go wrong that don’t always get fixed, some broken things stay broken, but the things is you will always got a chance to meet the better one.

And now it’s time to welcoming 2015. I love the feeling of starting over again, start to make a new resolution again, write a new wishlist again, feels like I’ll be leaving a whole year behind me and getting ready to face all of possibility and another chance for me to get it right in 2015.

Happy new year, hope for the best and keep struggling for better year ahead..


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Penat

Pemalas,

Pemalu,

Penggerutu,

Pesimis,

Pelamun,

Penuntut,

Penat. mungkin saya sedang penat, mungkin.

Atau mungkin sedang rindu, mungkin.

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We don’t have t…

We don’t have to pretend to be someone else to be loved, but do you think the phrase ‘I love you just the way you are’ is really exist?

Locked

there is something I wish I knew in life but I think it would be better if I hadn’t have the answer, maybe.Image

 

Long Journey

We still have many places to visit, many paths to discover and many roads to ride on. I still have so many thoughts to write, stories to be told and poems to be found.

Just survive!

Everybody always have a bad time, and there is nothing to do but keep walkin and smile on, Bad time isn’t a straight forward response to a bad situation, Depression isn’t a solution.  Bad time just like bad weather, Sometime we want to see the sun shine in the morning but the reality say different, the rain pouring down so hard make you wet and break your smile, but that’s life, but we always have a choice, forget the sun and let’s start dancing in the rain. enjoy the life! (hope so) 🙂

Happy birthday

“I realized that if I ever wanted to make peace with the demons in my head, I have to make peace with a girl who was once an angel in my life. Happy birthday dear” -anonymous

yana

Well I need to confess that it feels little awkward now, I know I should call your phone or at least leave some happy birthday text to you, but I think those aren’t necessary anymore, I know it is getting more complicated and surely by now your man already made a big surprise to you and give you some romantic stuff like flower or birthday cake maybe and of course give you an unexpected birthday present to you. Hmmm well, Wishing you happy birthday as a friend is something that I never thought I would do before, but there is no point in myself to pretending that I have forgotten your birthday, so happy birthday to you, you’re getting older and older, so enjoy every moment in life, keep dreaming and please don’t show me any sad face again, you said that no more tears right? so keep smile and cheer up! life is too short to feel unhapy, hope you always have an awesome time not just today but for the rest of your life. we have broken up, but that does not mean that I will stop wishing well for you right. Thanks for the sweet experience I never had before, Happy birthday.. 🙂

How can?

“Sucks being someones option when they’re your priority and you do anything and everything to keep them happy”

Maybe it’s sounds a bit rude, but yes I think you all agree anyway that is realy sucks being someone option when you’re doing your best to her/him. the world feels so unfair right, how can someone only made you as a choice when you treat her/him as your priority?

But lately I’ve been thinking, if you are really wanna make her/him happy, you should just do anything without need any response or any expectation, I means your only purpose is just to see happiness in her/his face right? so why you keep waiting her/his responses? maybe you’re not enough to her/him, and maybe there is someone else that could make her/him happier. DAMN! it must be hurt, I know that feeling. it must be hateful, but once again, hurt come from a high expectation that I think we shouldn’t expect. I know its hard, it would be great if the person you love is loving you back, but sometimes life gone outside our expectation right? Someday the person you love will realize that there is someone that always try to make her/him happy unconditionally than anyone else. well once again, just expect less give more, nothing worth having comes easy right? keep believing, the best is yet to come.

have I told you that pretending not to love you is hard thing to do?

I never felt this way before, and I never thought that this moment will come to me, to us. I trapped into the dream about a happy ending love story as I seen in many romantic drama movies. well maybe I have no capacity to talk about ‘love’ and yes I accept that. but I just wanna write about my confusion in my mind right now, people say if you can’t explain about what you feel, try write, so I’m here right now.

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I used to believe that every people in the world only have one person to love or maybe easy people called ‘soulmate’. no matter you’ll go or no matter you will be there is always someone waiting to be found by you as your soulmate that have written as your fate. and for so long I’ve been believing that you’re my soulmate (till now I still believe actualy). but maybe all this time I’ve been wrong, maybe love is kind a journey that need a trial and error, micth and match between two people. I don’t know about love, people said that love is like ghost, many people belive it but only few people could meet it. hmmmm maybe I’m too young to talk about love. but if it isn’t love, why I feel so peaceful every see you smile, I feel like ‘you’re the one’ every I see your eyes, feel like be the real me every moment I spent with you. if it isn’t love, why it feel so hurt when you’re leaving? too bad I think she still loves me, but I can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for her. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming her for falling in love with another man. I’m not angry, I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. it just hurt, somebody please tell me if it isn’t real love why this pain feel so real?

Oh damn, maybe you start thinking that “hey boy, there are a lot of things in this world besides love, career maybe?” yes I know, I know there are a lot of things in this world I should take care most, but loving someone and being loved means so much to me, oh damn, I hate this feeling. how do you replace someone with beautiful specific detail in every shape she moved? I’ve dived too deep to her, lot of things I spent together, happines and sandess. we’ve walked so far, and I never thought that it will end up like this. well, I know this is hard, but how complicated life is, life is life, we have to face it right (even it’s gonna hard to be).

Well I don’t hate you, that is never gonna be happen, you don’t have to be worry. but as you know I’m not surrender, I’m not go any further. I’ll be standing here and start to convince my self that not always all the dream we’ve dreamt come into reality but most of all the point is at least you’ve tried to make your dream come true, and I’ve tried even I got the unexpected result. but I still believe that “If two people are meant to be together, eventually they’ll find their way back”. People who don’t want to be hurt will never taste the sweetness of love right? thanks for all memories you shared, you’re always be my sweetest memory ever, you are the apple of my eyes. hope you happy, keep the smile up upon the world and I hope we’ll could meet in another time, in a better situation. have I told you that pretending not to love you is hard thing to do? but I will start to act like I don’t miss you. see you..